


Married

by Zeki



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Humor, Not Beta Read, Platonic Relationships, Threats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 17:13:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9247484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeki/pseuds/Zeki
Summary: Noctis is frustrated, Prompto makes suggestions, Gladio is confused, and Ignis just wants to sleep.





	

 When Prompto awoke to the sound of a door slamming he expected it to be Gladio coming to wake up him and Noctis. Instead he was met with the sight of the prince himself pacing back and forth through the caravan, waving his arms in a dramatic fashion.  Why was Noctis awake?  He was always the last to get up out of bed.  In fact, he was already dressed and hair styled.

'Okay,' Prompto thought, slowly sitting up, 'something's wrong if he's awake before me. What could possibly-'

"Are you even listening?"

"Huh?" Prompto snapped his attention to Noctis, "Who are we talking about?" the blonde brought a hand up to rub the side of his face in an attempt to wake himself up faster.  Had Noctis been talking this whole time?

 "Gladio and Ignis."

 "What about them?" he asked, arms stretching above his head.

 "I can't take the tension anymore! It's so obvious they're into each other, they're just....they're so oblivious. 

 "Oh ya, that.  Good, I thought it was just me." 

 "Well, it's not. If one of them doesn't confess their feelings soon I don't think I'll be able to survive this trip." Noctis sat beside Prompto on the bed and groaned in frustration.  A moment of silence passed over the two before Noctis spoke up again.

  "You don't think they would be _too_ mad if we ditch them at the next outpost do you?"

  Prompto looked out the window of the caravan, deep in thought.  Maybe...

  "Too bad you can't just marry them off."  Noctis turned his head to Prompto with a glint in his eyes and smile covering his face.

  Oh, no.

  "That's a great idea, Prompto!"  Noctis shouted as he jumped off the bed and started to make his way towards the door.

  "Wait, Noct! I didn't mean-" and Noctis was gone.  Prompto scurried out of bed after Noctis while attempting to put his pants on and pull his shirt over his head at the same time.  By the time he had found Noctis again he had already made his way over to the Regalia where Gladio and Ignis were talking.  Oh, god.  What has he done?  

* * *

 When Gladio had last seen Noctis 10 minutes ago he seemed ready to rip someone's head off.  So when the prince was making his way over to him with a skip in his step he was a bit surprised.  

 Prompto joined the three of them next, seeming to be out of breath and clothes disheveled, shoes also missing.

 'The hell?  What were these two doing?' Gladio questioned in his mind.

 "Oh, good.  Prompto, since you're here you can be they're best man." Noctis informed from on the hood of the Regalia.

 "Noctis, what are you talk-"

 "Shush, Gladio.  Don't interrupt your king while he's trying to marry you off." Prompto covered his face as it turned red in embarrassment.  This is how he was going to die.

  Noctis cleared his throat as he lightly stomped his foot from on top of the car.

  Here it comes...

 "By the power invested in me, Noctis Lucis Caelum, The First of His Name, King of Lucis, Protector of the Crystal, The Chosen, The Reluctant Leader of this Field Trip, I hereby marry you, Gladiolus Amicitia, Shield to the King, The Rare King's Knights Character and Cup Noodles Lover, Off to Ignis Stupeo Scientia, Adviser to the King, Cook of this Fieldtrip and Ebony Lover, till death do you part.  You may now kiss the groom."

* * *

 

 Gladio woke up in darkness, heart racing and sweat dripping down his brow from the heat of the night.  What time was it? 

 The tattooed man sat up and unlocked his phone, temporarily blinding himself in the process. 

 4:38 a.m. 

  Turning to Ignis who had been stirred awake by the man's movement. He froze in his movement, hoping the strategist would fall back asleep.

  "Gladio, what are you doing?" Ignis asked.  Well, crap.  That plan just flew out the window. 

  "We are never getting married." Gladio stated a little too loud.  "Um....good to know."  Ignis turned over, trying to go back to sleep.

  "Is there something you need to tell us, Gladio?"  Noctis asked from the other side of the tent, now awake along with Prompto.

  "Are we seriously going to have a conversation like this in the middle of the night?" the blonde mumbled, "Can't you talk about your feelings when you guys are alone...in the day time like normal people?"

  "If you continue to have a conversation of any sort, I will throw you all out of this tent and feed you to the daemons."

  The conversation came to a halt at Ignis' threat.

  "Wow, I've never seen mom and dad fight like this." Noctis whispered over to Prompto, earning a snicker from his friend.

  "NOCTIS!"

**Author's Note:**

> Saw the speech on tumblr and after laughing about it with one of my friends this popped into my head.  
> maybe I'll make a series of funny FFXV oneshots? Ideas anyone? (this particular series will be platonic but we can always joke about the pairings)
> 
> If anyone knows the person who came up with the speech on tumblr let me know so I can credit them.


End file.
